SEVEN WAYS NOT TO LOVE

So relationship seminars and talks appear the in-thing now... everyone has a solution or two about how to make your relationship right. But as far as am concerned, no one ever has all the explanation on why relationships go sour, or how to make them better.

In Prov. 30:18&19, Solomon; the wisest man in all of human history (and future), acknowledged that he didn’t seem to understand this mystery called love. If you ask me, that’s the way it stays; A MYSTERY! All we can ever do is share from the experiences we have had; whether or ourselves or others...

I have found several devastating ways NOT TO love, particularly, in an relationship with the opposite sex, and I’ll quickly share:

1. Don’t LOOSE YOUR IDENTITY while loving... 

Many young ladies and men do not even recognize themselves anymore, just because they are in a relationship. Your partner decides your friends, hobbies, occasions, e.t.c. That sounds more like bondage than love... Run!

2. Don’t love out of PRIDE...

If you feel you are doing him/her a favor by loving them, you most certainly would not love them genuinely. So what’s the point! Besides, God resists proud people (James 4:6)

3. Don’t love in REVENGE...

Are you in love with him/her as a way of getting back at someone for breaking your heart? Or are you claiming to loving him/her now because you feel it’s time to pay him/her back for all the emotional stress of getting her/him to say Yes? If this is the case with you, then you are mean! Vengeance belongs to God (Rom 12:19)

4. Don’t love DENYING REALITY

He/she is always hitting or raising their voice at you, but your thinking is always “he/she will change”. Or you sincerely think that He/she can’t break your heart because you think they love you too much to do that? My dear, people fight very to keep their spouse in a marriage, what makes you think a anyone is bound to remain in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you? Wake up! Give it your best, but do that with your head.

5. Don’t love for the WRONG REASONS

He has red lips! She has round eyes! Oh she has very curvy hips! My other friends are in relationships. He/she is so cute! Or even something as incredible as; “Aww, he has sexy baritone voice”. Like seriously!? I hope you can deal with it when the other things you have not noticed he/she has begin to surface.

6. Don’t love BLINDLY...

Love ought to be patient, kind, humble, selfless, tolerant, gentle, and NOT blind! If yours is blind, please see an optician!

7. Don’t love for SEX...

This is one VERY HARD part, but yet from a  VERY SIMPLE instruction. Yes, blood runs through the vein. Yes, ‘body no be firewood’. Yes, you might be so in love. He/she might even threaten to break up, or pick a quarrel or what else is worse? Despite all these, Yes, you can say NO to premarital sex! If you have engaged in it, don’t just stop, walk away from that relationship, because you will do it over and over again! It’s a TALL ORDER, but it’s the right thing to do! Flee sexual immorality... It is a sin like no other (1 Cor 6:18)

1Jn 4:8 - He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE. Love in its true sense, is a Noun!

If he/she doesn’t ‘know’ God, he/she cannot love you! You see the ‘know’ is in inverted commas, I hope you know what that means.

Love with all of your heart, but take your head along! 

Cheers!

HAVE YOURSELF A JOYOUS CHRISTMAS

Christmas is one holiday that has gained global significance over the years. The world over; December 25th is observed a holiday to mark the ‘supposed’ birth of Jesus. This short study is structured under three sub themes:

- The Birth of Jesus

- Origin of Christmas

- Celebrating Christmas

1. THE BIRTH OF JESUS*

This is one event that changed the destiny of mankind forever. Let’s begin with Gen. 3:15; ”and I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.”

One wonders why the use of the masculine pronoun instead of a feminine pronoun ‘her’ which is the correct pronoun for ‘the woman’. The answer is simple; Jesus was the promise in that text; He alone could crush the head of ‘the serpent’ (by rising from the death), while only suffering a bruise on his heel (his nail scared hands and riven side).

Some other texts that prophesy the birth of Jesus are:

Isaiah 7:14b; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. (Matt 1:18-23 was its fulfillment)

Micah 5:2; ”But thou, Beth-lehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.” (Matt. 2:1 was its fulfillment)

Here are thoughts from a Christian classic text; The Bible does not give us the precise time. Had the Lord deemed this knowledge essential to our salvation, He would have spoken through His prophets and apostles, that we might know all about the matter. But the silence of the Scriptures upon this point evidences to us that it is hidden from us for the wisest purposes. AH 477.2 Perhaps the same reason why the place of Moses’ grave was also not revealed to Israel.

2. THE ORIGIN OF CHRISTMAS

December 25th 336 AD, was the first record of a Christmas celebration. Prior to this time, Antiochus Epiphanes IV, on December 25th, 168 B.C.E., set up in Jerusalem temple a statue of Zeus, to commemorate the birthday of the Greek sun god. It is believed that December 25 is also the chosen birth and worship day of numerous gods, e.g. Tammuz, Nimrod, Ra, etc.

From the scriptural point, some texts give us an insight as to what time in the year Christ must have been born. Luke 2:8; ”And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.” Here we see that the very same night Christ was born, shepherds were out in the field grazing their cattle into the night. It most certainly would have been any other time of the year, except the winter. If it were winter, the cattle would be in their barns/ranches, and the shepherds in their homes; probably getting warm by the fire.

From the above, we see that both the Bible and nature discredit the idea that Christ was born on the 25th of December; or even anytime within the winter season. Instead, Galatians 4:4a gives us the closes hint as to the time of Christ’s birth; ”but when the fulness of the time was come...”

3. CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS

Now this is the part where there is a lot of controversy. If Christmas is not biblical, then is it okay to celebrate it? I will attempt this section by answering three questions: what does it mean to celebrate? Should Christmas be celebrated? What can/should we do on Christmas?

Firstly, what is a celebration? Oxford dictionary defines it as; to acknowledge (a special day or event) with social gathering or enjoyable activity; perform a religious ceremony; to honor or praise publicly. From this definition, one could conclude that celebrating Christmas would involve attending a gathering or congregation; social or religious, on the 25th of December, solely to commemorate the day. Other acts of celebrations could include speaking or writing to honor or publicly praise the day. 

Secondly, should Christmas be celebrated? My answer is YES and NO, and here is why;

• There is no biblical injunction to do or not to do so.
• Christmas has an origin that is anti-Christ, hence, it is laden with so much deceit and rebellion.
• Celebrating and teaching that Christ was born on December 25th is false teaching. But like every other day, we ought to help the needy even on December 25th.
• Most of the activities (excessive drinking and partying, e.t.c) that many engage in on this day, have no Christian theme, and lead away from Christ, instead of to Him.

Thirdly, what then should we do on Christmas? This is where emotions are wiped up and most lose reasoning on the subject. We have established that Christmas has no biblical root, however, we must not cease to live our lives and ‘let our lights so shine before men’, even at Christmas! Jesus expects us; with every opportunity, even at Christmas, to point each other to His truth. There are some who may never be reached at any other time, with the Goodnews about Jesus, except at Christmas. Jesus expects us, like Paul, to “become all things to all men, that we might by all means save some.” (1Cor. 9:19-22)

I like how this author advised we spend our Christmas (this may be a little lengthy, but I’ll end on this);

As the twenty-fifth of December is observed to commemorate the birth of Christ... It can be made to serve a very good purpose... The youth should not be left on Christmas to find their own amusement in vanity and pleasure seeking, in amusements which will be detrimental to their spirituality... Their desire to make gifts may be turned into pure and holy channels and made to result in good to our fellow men by supplying the treasury in the great, grand work for which Christ came into our world. Self-denial and self-sacrifice marked His course of action... AH 478

By the world the holidays are spent in frivolity and extravagance, gluttony and display.... Thousands of dollars will be worse than thrown away upon the coming Christmas and New Year’s in needless indulgences...instead of expending means merely for the gratification of the appetite or for needless ornaments or articles of clothing, we may make the coming holidays an occasion in which to honor and glorify God... Christmas and New Year celebrations can and should be held in behalf of those who are helpless.

I hope you have yourself a happy holiday and remember to show someone that Jesus loves you and them too! 

Shalom!

LITTLE THINGS MATTER...

So am sitting here thinking on what to share with y’all, and am really impressed to remind you on the importance of ‘little things’, so here...

“It is oftenest through the little things which seem so unworthy of notice that great good or evil is brought into our lives". Many times we are complacent and think that 'it doesn't matter', perhaps those things we think don't matter are the most important; having eternal consequences for us. It is "Only by acting upon principle in the tests of daily life" that "we acquire power to stand firm and faithful in the most dangerous and most difficult positions".

We ought always to remember that to our every word or deed we have a witness—the holy, sin-hating God. Hence we must always inquire “What would Jesus do were He in my place?” and measure every duty by this question "WWJD".

We must always ensure that under the constant guidance of the Holy Spirit, we always act from principle (right thinking) and not impulse, bearing in mind that "The only security for any soul is right thinking", and by this we may be respected of all men and beloved of God.

(E.G. White, 1957; Help in Daily Living, E.G. White Estate Inc.)

May God help us as we ensue faithfulness in little things, self discipline and guidance by principle. May we, by God's grace "guide our hearts with all diligence", so that we can enjoy abundant life in Jesus.

Have a rewarding week friends!

57 Hearty Cheers!

It’s here again; this time it’s the 57th celebration of October 1st; day of Nigeria’s independence. Obviously, however, this years anniversary is perhaps the most decisive of many others before it. After exactly 50years of ‘celebrating’ independence in the heat of the civil war, Nigeria is yet again at a threshold as a nation; the indivisible, indissoluble unity of Nigeria continues to suffer a multiplicity of perspectives.

Among other issues, restructuring is the song that everyone seems to be singing in Nigeria at the moment. While I do not intend to complicate the debate, I am proposing a ‘more excellent way’ - mind transformation and love, will do the magic. 

How about if we loved each other the same; if we are first Nigerians before Hausa, Yoruba or Igbo? How about if we looked out for the interest of others as much and as sincerely as we sort ours? If we resolved to pursue peace regardless, trusting that the conquest of Peace always outlasts the victories of violence? How about if we simply choose ‘the more excellence way’; leaders and followers alike?

Meanwhile, it’s 57 hearty cheers; Happy Independence Day celebrations! For me, the best days for Nigeria still lie ahead, ‘the more excellent way’ will get us there a lot more faster.

Happy 57th Independence Day anniversary!

Happy International Day of Peace

 

Happenings in the recent past have been so overwhelming, and have received so much comments from various quarters, that I deliberately refused to bore you with my own perspectives on the issues. Not because I don't count them relevant, but because somewhere along the line they have been captured in the midst of the many conversations going on on the various issues... However, am bringing something different today!

So world leaders have been meeting in the past days, on the neutral United Nations territory in New York, discussing the many issues that confront our world at the 72nd Session of the United Nations General Assembly, under the Presidency of Miroslav Lajcak of Slovakia, and Secretary-ship of HE Mr. Anthonio Gutteres; whose first General Assembly session this is, since he took over office from Mr. Ban Ki Moon. Top on the agenda of deliberations at the UNGA is world peace, with so many cases in point.

It is on coincidence that today September 21st, also marks the United Nations declared International Day of Peace. That precisely is my point of emphasis in this piece of information. 

Granted, we have differences; that exactly is the nature of man - different, unique. Granted, there are inequalities, that has become also the nature of man - selfish, exploitative - even though a departure from the original intention at creation. Unfortunately, these tendencies have defied intervention, and would not go away. 

But in the face of these injustices, inequalities, selfishness, greed, corruption, exploitation and so many other ills which you may better articulate, our response is what determines which would reign - peace or total chaos. In times like these, when different voices are calling so loudly for, and making various demands; when drums are playing so loud that 'quiet' is so far from reach; when the argument is fiercest - WAR or PEACE? I hope you would understand the total defeat that comes from war, and the hope that peace offers; I hope that you choose Peace!

"Blessed" the good books say "are the peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth". 

HAPPY 2017 INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PEACE!

Love is Earned!

I have been thinking whether or whether not. Its not always so easy to state your position on a few issues that already attract a myriad of conflicting opinions and views. So this is me being frank and objective AMAP.

So I know a lot of you have seen many of very familiar posts on social media that recite all the reasons why a man isn't a real man, or attempt to advice men on why they must treat a woman right at all times and all that. I came across one of those yesterday, and it got me really thinking; not for the first time, but more carefully, especially in the light of some personal experiences in the recent past...

If certain things disqualifies a man from being a 'real man', like inability to take care of his woman, lack of focus, being flirtatious, lazy and all the other reasons that come to mind, shouldn't there also be certain things that disqualify a woman/lady from being a 'real woman' and justifies a man who refuses taking such a lady serious? While I will leave to you the many reasons that can disqualify a lady from being 'real', one is particularly troubling to me, and seems to me can be said of many young ladies now a days. There isn't such a turn off as a lady who has no foresight, focus, industry or even a mere thought of what direction she would love her life to go in 365 days; a lady who just lives satisfactory in here and now.

Don't get me wrong, women are beautiful creatures, who deserve special care and concern, who deserve to be treated as though they were taken out of men, because indeed they were. However, I strongly believe that being a real man or woman, goes way beyond biology. Men and women alike should EARN any kinds of special treatment from their partners. If he/she isn't worth all the trouble, please feel free to take your search elsewhere...

Shout out to all the hard working, industrious, purposeful and goal-oriented men and women out there. We all deserve the very best, and I do hope we get what we deserve.

MAKE-UP CRAZE!

So I have been meaning to write this article for a while and maybe I didn't just find the right motivation, but I got it this morning. Sure you are wondering 'how e take concern me'? Well, that's story for another day.

I saw this pretty lady yesterday on her way to church; apparently, my cousins Landlords daughter, and she was looking really nice with her face padded and lips glittering red. This morning I saw her again, this time in her pyjamas and natural face, and I almost didn't recognize Seun anymore, trust me she looked a lot more prettier than the lady I saw yesterday; dazzling light complexion, seemingly invisible mustache and bright eyes, I was moved say hello, and I sure did tell her she looked really pretty. You can vet she gave me the famous reply; "Like this?" They never believe they are pretty unless they have their make-ups on.

Make-ups have increasingly become more of a 'ritual' than a what they are meant to be; 'make-ups'. Eyebrows on fleek, eye shadows (sometimes of weird colors), foundations in multiple layers, contours, and lips almost dripping from coloring, and sadly any lady who isn't able to have all these on, especially on an outing, feels less than a lady. This is even outside the recent explosion in the make-up industry, where literally almost every lady has become a make-up artist.

If you think am kidding, the next time you go on a public function, look out for a Lady who isn't on some serious makeup, you may only find, in this category, children less than 12years of age, and may not even find a lot of them. I know some people are getting their axes ready to chop my head off, but hear me out first.

Make-ups are great. Even the very heavy ones are great on a few occasions, and can save some people a blackmail on their self-esteem, but make-ups are not necessary all the time, and more so not even really necessary for some people, because without mincing words; it completely masks their beauty.

So my point is, make-ups are not meant for every lady. The African woman was created beautiful; with amazing finishing and every feature factory fitted by God. So my dear lady, find out what works for you! Could be just a little powder to keep your face dry, a little lotion to keep your lips moist. But if you must do the whole eyebrows, eye shadow, foundation and all, then good luck with those, and while you are at it, at least be modest. By the way, guess I should let you also know that the 'gentlemen' like it natural. Or gentlemen, am I missing anything?