So relationship seminars and talks appear the in-thing now... everyone has a solution or two about how to make your relationship right. But as far as am concerned, no one ever has all the explanation on why relationships go sour, or how to make them better.
In Prov. 30:18&19, Solomon; the wisest man in all of human history (and future), acknowledged that he didn’t seem to understand this mystery called love. If you ask me, that’s the way it stays; A MYSTERY! All we can ever do is share from the experiences we have had; whether or ourselves or others...
I have found several devastating ways NOT TO love, particularly, in an relationship with the opposite sex, and I’ll quickly share:
1. Don’t LOOSE YOUR IDENTITY while loving...
Many young ladies and men do not even recognize themselves anymore, just because they are in a relationship. Your partner decides your friends, hobbies, occasions, e.t.c. That sounds more like bondage than love... Run!
2. Don’t love out of PRIDE...
If you feel you are doing him/her a favor by loving them, you most certainly would not love them genuinely. So what’s the point! Besides, God resists proud people (James 4:6)
3. Don’t love in REVENGE...
Are you in love with him/her as a way of getting back at someone for breaking your heart? Or are you claiming to loving him/her now because you feel it’s time to pay him/her back for all the emotional stress of getting her/him to say Yes? If this is the case with you, then you are mean! Vengeance belongs to God (Rom 12:19)
4. Don’t love DENYING REALITY
He/she is always hitting or raising their voice at you, but your thinking is always “he/she will change”. Or you sincerely think that He/she can’t break your heart because you think they love you too much to do that? My dear, people fight very to keep their spouse in a marriage, what makes you think a anyone is bound to remain in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you? Wake up! Give it your best, but do that with your head.
5. Don’t love for the WRONG REASONS
He has red lips! She has round eyes! Oh she has very curvy hips! My other friends are in relationships. He/she is so cute! Or even something as incredible as; “Aww, he has sexy baritone voice”. Like seriously!? I hope you can deal with it when the other things you have not noticed he/she has begin to surface.
6. Don’t love BLINDLY...
Love ought to be patient, kind, humble, selfless, tolerant, gentle, and NOT blind! If yours is blind, please see an optician!
7. Don’t love for SEX...
This is one VERY HARD part, but yet from a VERY SIMPLE instruction. Yes, blood runs through the vein. Yes, ‘body no be firewood’. Yes, you might be so in love. He/she might even threaten to break up, or pick a quarrel or what else is worse? Despite all these, Yes, you can say NO to premarital sex! If you have engaged in it, don’t just stop, walk away from that relationship, because you will do it over and over again! It’s a TALL ORDER, but it’s the right thing to do! Flee sexual immorality... It is a sin like no other (1 Cor 6:18)
1Jn 4:8 - He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE. Love in its true sense, is a Noun!
If he/she doesn’t ‘know’ God, he/she cannot love you! You see the ‘know’ is in inverted commas, I hope you know what that means.
Love with all of your heart, but take your head along!
Cheers!
