GUNS! TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

I thought I had an opinion about this until a few days ago, then I got to see the issue from an entirely different perspective.

I know you are wondering what the issue is right? WOULD GUNS IN THE HANDS OF LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS REDUCE CRIME RATE OR NOT? That’s the issue ooo my dear people! I used to think and believe that any laws that put guns in the hands of people other than law enforcement or the military was insane. I have even published several articles on the subject. How would you make guns available to civilians and not expect them to use these guns, and expect that crime rates will not double or even triple? 

But I came across a perspective that challenged my views on this issue. If law-abiding civilians are allowed (by law) to own guns, it would discourage criminal elements from attacking people indiscriminately, because they know that you have what they have - guns! 

This argument leaves several questions unanswered still, which is why I don’t completely concur with it. For instance; how do you deal with a husband or brother or sister pulling a gun on their sibling or parent because they are upset or disappointed? What if one is careless and a child finds the gun and uses it to hurt themselves? What if criminal elements decide to increase their fire power and attack anyway? (like we see most times in Nigeria where Police is hiding from thief because they have more firepower). All these are equally important issues too, and more. On the other hand, one reason why the US has not again used nuclear weapon since 1945 is because 8 other states have nuclear weapons and some others are still secretly building theirs. This has created what Strategic studies experts call “Deterrence”; fear that attack could provoke equal or superior counterattack, so every country just respects itself and refrain from attack. Plus, 

I guess my point is; this is a conversation we ought to have, especially in the light of increasing proliferation and trafficking in arms and ammunition, especially in Nigeria. What do y’all think?

#myrandomweeklythoughts

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ONE RITUAL I NEED TO STOP

So I have been thinking a lot in the past two days about rituals in my life... I have a number of rituals that I perform daily, and sometimes weekly and other times even monthly or yearly, and I bet this isn’t just me, we all have some kind of ritual that is tied to our person. But there is this one ritual I really do not feel good about.

I have been seeing all kinds of things on social media in the last two days that tell me it’s that time of the year again. Things like; “the tomb was empty so you can be filled”, “He was betrayed with a kiss, denied by His friend...” and all that stuff. None of these is bad. In fact, thankfully, all of it is TRUE! But sadly, once this weekend is over, we have to wait another 365 days (or close to that) to be reminded of these amazing truths. 

I guess my point is that Easter, Christmas and whatever else you think stands out as some kind of symbol of some ‘absolute truth’ have all become just ‘rituals’; like ‘well it’s that time of the year again and everyone else is at it, why be left out?’. Sadly, this is also the case with our weekly worship services (whether they are on Saturday or Sunday). Consciously or unconsciously, many of us (including myself) just go to church or worship services, most times to ‘check the boxes’ and ‘fulfill all righteousness’. There is still so much selfishness, and jealousy, and pride, and impatience, and hate, and envy, and wickedness, and the list goes on, reigning in our hearts... All we do is take a pause on the ills, perform the necessary ritual and get right back to ‘our lives’, others even do their own rituals while at ‘their lives’.

Yeah I know, enough of the beating around the bush... My point is Easter, Christmas and everything else that has to do with ‘truth’ ought to be not just a ritual, but a lifestyle. Every second of every single day should be ‘good friday’, and ‘Easter’ and ‘Ed-el-fitre’, and ‘Christmas’ and everything else that means something to us once in a while. I am tired of the rituals, I want a lifestyle that constantly reflects my gratitude for the love and grace of God, EVERY MINUTE of EVERY DAY! So help me God!

What are you reflecting upon Easter?

#myweeklyrandomthoughts

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LESSONS FROM MICHELLE OBAMA’S ‘BECOMING’

Some three weeks ago, I finally started reading ‘Becoming’. I had had the book for several months now, but the hype of the book made me a little skeptical. I was really hoping I would not get disappointed, and certainly I wasn’t disappointed one bit. No doubt, the status of Michelle has helped to push the book into the market, but the book speaks for itself too.

So after 24 long and engaging chapters, plus a preface and epilogue. I will just share five things the book re-emphasized that I would never forget in a hurry. There are definitely over a dozen more lessons, but you should do yourself the honor of reading it too... It’s refreshing!

1. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING

The family theme was one that ran all through the book. Michelle unapologetically portrayed her preference for family over all else; mirroring the love she and her elder brother Craig enjoyed from her middle class family on Euclid Avenue at the South side of Chicago, to her intentionality in ensuring that her girls didn’t suffer neglect as a result of the busy life herself and Barack found themselves in. Even when they hired a baby sitter, she made sure she was always home before bedtime to talk the girls to sleep. Children don’t really care how rich or poor their parents are, all that matters eventually is how much time and love you give to them.

2. NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE CAN BE REASONED OUT

Which of us has not been taken by surprise as life spring new roles and responsibilities at us without warnings? Having finished from Princeton and Harvard and landing a fantastic legal career, Michelle hadn’t ever thought of politics or prepared for fame until Barack came along. Then all too sudden and in quick successions she has to deal with all life was throwing at her, with little or not enough time to always reason it all out. 

3. OVERCOMING FEARS

As life became more demanding, Michelle had to hire a chef to cook meals and eventually hire nanny for her girls. As a young black lady from a middle class family, she understood the implication of these actions and what people would say, but what had to be done had to be done. Many practically live their lives on the premise of what others will think or say, as such they fail to do even the very expedient things. 

4. IT’S HARDER TO HATE SOMEONE UP-CLOSE

Sometimes there is that one person that we just don’t like and for no good reason too. Or we ourselves are hated by people who even barely know us. I can’t imagine I almost believed the many videos I saw on YouTube about Michelle being a transgender who used to be a male and changed to become a female. The things hate drives people to do are appalling, and Michelle had tons of stranger as haters. Sometimes, the best way to treat hate is getting to know someone a little better, because indeed, like Michelle said “it’s harder to hate someone up-close”.

5. PROGRESS AND CHANGE HAPPEN SLOWLY.

Of all the lessons from this memoir, Michelle‘s thoughts about her visit to Madiba in South Africa was the one I consider the most profound. Very little transpired during the visit as Mandela was too old and feeble to engage herself and her entourage, but she noticed Mandela was a graceful old man. Mandela had been jailed for about 20 years, missed crucial parts of his growing up and family life, yet he wasn’t consumed with bitterness and animosity for all the years he spent in jail; he was still a graceful and happy old man. Mandela had given his whole life to South Africa and the country is still in the process of change. Many times we get discouraged and bitter when we don’t see our efforts yielding desired results, but like Michelle rightly noted from Mandela’s life; “progress and change happen slowly; not in two years or four years or even a lifetime”.

Have you read the book, leave your own lessons from the book or your thoughts in the comment section, I’ll like to hear from you.

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WHAT MARRIAGE STOLE FROM ME...

Hey, thanks for stopping by to check on #myrandomweeklythoughts

So two days ago I saw this video on IG, and I really was like, wait a minute, was this guy reading my mind or what? He literally went ahead to clearly highlight what I wanted to share with y’all, just that this is me telling you my own side of the story.

So on the 29th of July last year, I got married to my friend of 9years and my lover of some 10 months. That decision was about the best decision I ever made in my life; I will go all over it again and again if I had to; from meeting her, to our friendship, to dating and finally popping the question (and seeing that priceless look on her face) and then walking the aisle to bring her to the altar. I don’t and don’t expect to ever regret one bit of being married, let alone getting married to my wife. She’s my magic wand; and has brought so much good fortune into my life in just a few months. It’s important that I stress this firmly, so that what I am going to say subsequently is not taken out of context.

I miss some of my female friends! I asked my wife what she thought about the video and thankfully she confirmed that ‘it is normal’ for single female friends to hold back once a guy gets married, and vice versa. I bet she meant ‘it is normal’ not because it is the right thing to do, but because it has become tradition. Don’t get me wrong, almost everything changes when one gets married, and yes it is wise to shake off a few toxic friends (especially of the opposite sex) which can pose threat to your union. But my wife and I had a life before we got married; we each have platonic relationships that we cherish (for a thousand reasons) and as life progresses, as opportunities present themselves, these friends would become mutual. Unfortunately, some of my female friends may never get to meet my wife, but they’ll remain my friends.

It hurts to hear things like: you are married now na; or you have left our league/level. I only got married, didn’t go on exile. Marriage stole some friends from me and yes it hurts, but FAMILY FIRST! 

Leave your thoughts in the comment section, I’ll like to hear from you.

Follow me on IG: @dr_mykk to see the video

FROM HERE, ONWARD!

Few days ago, my friend put out on her Instagram story a question that I have wrestled with since then. She asked; “If there is ONE thing you are passionate about, what would it be?” Pretty simple question right? Well, I thought I had an answer, in fact, I did answer, but I found myself asking myself if my answer was the best I could do, and the answer is NO! There is so much more I am sure I would enjoy doing if only I could get myself up and about them...

So, here is where I am beginning. Publishing a blog post on a random thought every week about my life, the life around me or whatever else I find captivating my mind enough. I don’t guarantee you will like every thought, but I guarantee they would be worth every minute you spend reading and reacting.

I have seen the power of positive (and negative) influence in my almost 9 years of university teaching. Sometimes too I have spoken to an audience of less than 10, and somehow someone finds the session useful; either in their present or several years down the line (if I’ve had any influence on you, do well to share in the comment session). I am neither rich nor famous, or have I lived long enough to garner too many experiences, but I have my stories, I’ve heard those of some others you may not have heard, and I even have my own thoughts on those that you have heard too, and I intend to tell them all. I am sure someone will find them useful!

So don’t just stop by today, but next week, and every week after that. Don’t just read my thoughts and stories, but also leave me some reactions, and kindly share these stories with those who you think would find them useful. This is another opportunity of doing that ONE thing I am passionate about; ‘growing’ people.

So, I’ll ask you the same question; If there is ONE thing you are passionate about, what would it be? (I’ll be expecting your answer)

In the meantime, Welcome to #myrandomweeklythoughts

IG: @dr_mykk