TRASH TRADITIONS!

After over three decades, some people mock me and others rebuke me for being unable to fluently speak my native dialect - Igbo. Sometimes, I have felt the need to do more than just respond to greetings and hold very simple surface conversations in my dialect, but more of the time, I have not felt I am obliged to be any proficient in a native dialect. I have several reasons for this, but I’ll share just two, and to be clear, I don’t care if you think they make sense or not, they are my opinion afterall... I guess you might even buy into them.

So, of course, one of Africa’s greatest potential for strength is her many thousand diverse and unique ethnic groups and peoples. Unfortunately, this same diversity has been more harmful than useful in the overall development of many African societies (in my opinion) and Nigeria is certainly one of those... On several occasions, I have seen the ability or inability to bargain in a native dialect result in higher or lower costs for the buyer, and I am sure you have also had similar experiences. It is simply disgusting, to say the list. Of course, bargaining is a very basic instance, there are several other more complex circumstances where ethnicity is the only condition for preference. The result? Your guess is as good as mine.

Secondly, not only is ethnicity detrimental to those who are of a different ethnicity, it is annoyingly detrimental also to those of the same ethnic group. I’ll give you two instances with the Igbo tradition (which is what I am familiar with). Before a loved one is laid to rest, the immediate family of the diseased is expected to perform certain ‘rites’ for the kinsmen namely; purchase of a well-fed he goat (sometimes it is advisable to allow one of the kinsmen to buy the goat themselves, so it is not rejected), several cartoons of drinks, something called ‘sizable meat’, coolers of rice and soups for various groups in the community, among others. Many times, the cost of completing these burial rites are so high that the diseased is left in the mortuary for several months and a few times, even years, very sad! The exact same thing happens in the event of getting married to a lady from the Igbo tribe, just that the number of cartoons and coolers may vary slightly. 

What is even more thought-provoking is that many of these so-called ‘kinsmen’ feel a sense of entitlement to literally ‘reap where they have not sown’ in the name of traditional rites. Apologies for sounding so sentimental in this post, that’s because I really am upset; some traditions are indeed worth trashing!

Some think this has to continue, just because it’s the way ‘our fathers did it’, first I don’t agree our fathers were this exploitative, and even if they were, times have changed... who’s joining me to say NO to exploitative tradition? 

#myrandomweeklythoughts

IG: @dr_mykk

THE COST OF LOVE!

I have been thinking about this for a while; I had shared it at a function recently where I was invited to speak on a related subject, and I think I want to share with y’all this thing that has been on my mind; fortunately it is one other thing that getting married has taught me... ‘Love’ in Africa, especially in Nigeria, is very expensive! How do I mean?

In the ‘West’, a man finds a woman he intends to make his wife, upon giving her consent, parental blessings are sort and in a small gathering of family and a few close friends, the marriage Union is contracted and the journey begins. In most cases, the budget of the small gathering/wedding ceremony is borne by family and close friends; from wardrobe to cakes to pictures to logistics, everything. 

On the other hand, in Nigeria; especially where I come from, the story is a little different. Once you have found ‘love’, a number of factors are involved; first as the man, you need to consult with other people (fellow men) who have gone ahead of you to get an idea of what obtains on what they call the ‘marriage list’, and most times too, you discover that just like textbook have various revised editions, ‘the list’ is also constantly updated (and almost always reviewed upwards), so what constitutes one persons ‘list’ can be entirely different from that of another, even when they married ladies from the same town. As if they were not enough, almost every Nigerian lady wants a three-fold wedding - at the village square, at the court and in the church. Interestingly, the cost of the wedding at the village square almost always exceeds the cost of those at the court and in the church combined, except your lady is the type that insists on certain things - asoebi, 8 layered cake, exotic wedding gown - God help you!

Some argue that the rationale for this age long cultural practice is that it places more value on the woman and makes it more difficult for her husband to leave her; of course when you remember how much the love cost you, you will rethink divorce more than twice... While I cannot confirm or refute this argument, I know that separation is on the increase; a whole 14% increase in separations in Nigeria in the year 2018 alone (https://www.thecable.ng/the-rate-of-divorce-in-nigeria) Also, the psychological implications too are overwhelming; may men delay marriage until they have built the financial muscle to undertake such costly enterprise (they end up getting married in their late 30s and early 40s to much younger ladies). Another concern is that once the cost has been incurred, a man sees his wife as a commodity he has bought and thus can dictate to her how to live the rest of her life with him and most times she barely has a say.

My point? Some of our cultural practices in Africa and Nigeria especially, are holding us in a stunted growth position. We can achieve better result by other more civil means if we put our minds to it. Unfortunately, most of the custodians of these traditions/custom are not enlightened and very resistant to change. I have a whole lot more to say, but I’ll reserve that for PART TWO of this thought next week.

Can you disagree with my views? Certainly! Please share your own thoughts in the comment section below 👇🏽

#myrandomweeklythoughts

#dr_mykk

ITCHING EARS

This week I came across a nugget titled; ‘Itching Ears’, which I found very insightful and gleaned so many profound lessons from. I’ll share some excerpts from this nugget:

“From the conscience that shrinks from new truth, from the laziness that is content with half truths, from the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth, O God of truth deliver us. We can’t stand the truth, so we heap for ourselves people to tell us what we want to hear. We read and cite works that agree with our prejudices. And we choose friends, politicians, and preachers to tickle us with versions we resonate with”.

Come to think of it, everyone of us is guilty of this to some extent, only that the degree of our guilt may vary. So it is safe to say that we all have ‘itching ears’, just that the ‘ears’ of some are ‘itching’ more than others. The truth is that may of us have become so mediocre that we get so uncomfortable around (or outrightly dislike) people who insist on doing things the right way and at the right time; excellence has become so discomforting, especially for many young people. 

For instance, feedback from many of the students who have come under my tutelage think me to be stern, mean, and some even say ‘wicked’, and their justification for these perceptions are; I insist on coming to class regularly and promptly, I insist that they study and make the best of their time in school, I insist on avoiding the use of smartphones during lectures, I insist on silence and concentration during lectures, among others. I am certainly not their favorite, but you know what? I may still not be a favorite even if I was permissive, and besides excellence is more valuable than some mediocre validations. So why not continue to pursue excellence?

Who’s with me on this pursuit for excellence; slowly but surely? Kindly indicate in the comment section 

Please read, comment and share!!!

IG: @dr_mykk

YOUNG TEACHERS: THE FUTURE OF THE PROFESSION

October 5th is World Teachers Day set aside by the United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) to celebrate Teachers across the globe. Incidentally, 2019 happens to be my 9th year of teaching. I did some reflections on the WTD, and I thought to share some of them with y’all.

Growing up, teaching was never enviable to me, I don’t even think I did sufficiently appreciate the efforts of my teachers, until I got into their shoes. Only when I became a teacher myself did I really appreciate the native adage that is translated thus: “you never really appreciate the usefulness of a basket until it’s time to dispose trash”. Looking back on my life and how I got here; I am deeply and eternally grateful to every single person (including my mum and late dad) who spent time, no matter how small, to share some form of knowledge with me. I am even more grateful because I know I must have made the process a lot more difficult owing to my ‘block-headedness’ and extreme playfulness at the time. Now I understand!

One other thing that kept resonating on my mind from the WTD is the role of ‘Young Teachers’ in this age of high-speed innovation and change. The days when ‘village headmasters’ or ‘Mr Lecturer’ could do the trick are almost gone. The wisdom and experience of the elders in the profession is priceless, but the truth is that many older teachers are the students in many of today’s classrooms. We can’t over-emphasize the Influence that a young teacher has on students who are in his/her generation; it is profound! This influence doesn’t come without its negative sides too as many students have graduated to sex partners and ‘friends with benefits’ of several young teachers. 

Regardless, young teachers, indeed, are the future of the profession. However, we must keep our head in the game and ensure that every influence we have on our student is a positive one!

From your experience, How did any of your younger teachers stand out (positively or negatively) from their older colleagues? Feel free to share your comments in the section below! 👇🏽

#myrandomweeklythoughts

@dr_mykk

Independence Edition

Honestly guys, I ran out of caption for this write-up. I wouldn’t mind your help in suggesting captions (in the comment section). And I am keeping this one short and straight to the point.

Well, it’s another Independence anniversary week, and I guess we are all expected to be writing or saying ‘Happy Independence Day’ to Nigeria, but the truth is I do not know anymore. We are a long long way from a ‘happy’ independence guys! I have a million and one reasons for this conclusion and I am sure you may have more, but I’ll share one that is still very fresh.

So this past week, I went to undergo an eye examination for my drivers license at one of the state teaching hospitals in Nigeria (name withheld). I do not want to go on about the ‘road’ that led to the eye examination. So I walked into the room after asking close to a dozen people for direction from the gate, and these two women are sitting at the desk with bottles of soft drinks half empty on the tables and their eyes fixed on their phones, and it’s about 10.30am. I walk up to the desk and say ‘good morning ma’ thrice before one of the women looks up at me after almost 30 seconds after the third ‘good morning ma’ and asks me to take a seat after telling her why I was there. For another close to 30 minutes, these two women are still with their eyes on their phones while sipping on their bottles of soft drink intermittently, while myself and six other people in the room remained seated ‘awaiting our verdict’. After about 30 minutes, one of the women looks up and makes eye contact with me (already getting very irritated, although expression-less) and asks me to come, she then opens one of the files on the table and hands me a form, asks me to fill it and go make payment at the cash point. Luckily, I am back with the payment receipt in less than 10 minutes, and I am asked to ‘hold on’. After another 15 minutes of ‘holding on’, the form and receipt are taken from me, stapled and handed back to me to take to the eye clinic.

Eventually, I leave the room after almost an hour from my arrival with the form and receipt in my hand, and am wondering why it took me one hour to fill a form and obtain a receipt, but unfortunately, that’s all I could do ‘WONDER’!

I know I said this will be short and straight to the point, but unfortunately it’s difficult to make ‘short’ talks about Nigeria these days. I’ll be looking forward to your suggested captions in the comment section. Also feel free to share your own similar experiences (if you don’t mind). 

In the meantime, ‘keep your head above the water’ while we continue to seek solution to the terminal illness of our dear country.

#myrandomweeklythoughts

@dr_mykk

IN SEARCH OF PEACE!

Celebrating International Peace Day 2018 with my International Relations Students!

Imagine a world at peace! A world where everyone loved not just their neighbor but the stranger too. Imagine a world where states/nations interacted on the basis of love; no trade wars or military alliances or peacekeeping missions or strict immigration laws or terrorist or all that... a world indeed at peace! Far from reality right? Well, on the contrary, Bible believers will disagree and argue that the hope of the reality of such a world at peace is indeed their motivation for life. 

In the meantime though, away from ‘hope’ and back to reality. Our world is in desperate search for peace. The International Day of Peace (September 21st) is one of such dates set aside to re-emphasizes some of the very key issues that challenge our world. Since the last ‘Day of Peace’ many more thousands have died in ‘peaceful’ protests in Venezuela, HongKong, Egypt, Sudan, Zimbabwe, Nigeria, just to mention a few; brothers have risen up in arms against their fellow African brothers in South Africa, the trade war between China and the United States appears to have lasted 365 whole days (having repel effects on many other individual lives and homes in several other countries and continents). My point? The more in search of Peace we are, the further from us Peace appears. 

While international, regional and national commemorations and reminders are essential, the search for peace MUST begin on the inside, and not externally. Come to think of it, the situations that make peace appear evasive first originate on the inside. Violence and unrest and insecurity and death all originate from the inside; how we choose to act or react are what make or mar peace. So rather than externally, let’s all look inward and see how much of Ambassadors of peace or ‘war’ we are. Also, we must collectively begin to pay a lot more, or at least equal attention to peace as we do to war. How do I mean? Peace Education is an imperative! Defense and Strategic Studies, Art of War, Conflict Studies and Management are all essential, but Peace Studies, Science of Peace and any other related studies on Peace are more essential.

As we look forward to the next International Day of Peace (September 21st 2020) let’s all individually decide to actively reduce the casualties of violence nearest to us. Let’s also take a minute to say a prayer for the families of those we have lost in the last year and ask for courage on behalf of the families of those we are going to loose in the next 365 days, unfortunately.

Back to the perspective of Bible believers, real and lasting peace can only come from outside of this world, and am sorry, with all of these happenings, I agree with them! Until then, as much as possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with EVERYONE!

#myrandomweeklythought

@dr_mykk

Yahoo-Yahoo Mentality

Last week, one of my students asked me; “why have you stopped posting on your blog sir”? For a few seconds, cat caught my tongue, I was lost for words. A number of things crossed my mind in those few seconds; so this student actually does read my blogposts, I really haven’t done any postings in a while... I don’t remember what answer I gave my student, but I’ll attempt some explanations here...

The last three months have been intense on my new job as Dad, and I guess I am enjoying every bit of it so much that I forget my weekly posts. Seriously though, consistency is a virtue I really am working hard at, please keep me in prayers. 

A lot has happened since my last post; RUGA, Fatoyinbo saga, Ministerial nomination and appointment (that one pepper me pass), just to mention a few. But I saw something two days ago, which awakened in my mind a stream of thoughts which I want to share with y’all! 

I have always felt uncomfortable with the internet scam (Yahoo-Yahoo) syndrome, not just because it is dubious and increasingly evil nature, but because of the boldness with which most perpetrators display their irresponsibility; untidy looks, sagging trousers, rough and mostly unruly behavior and very exotic lifestyles (one they couldn’t live in 20 or even 30 years if they earned an honest living). What baffles me, though, is that this ‘Yahoo-Yahoo mentality’ is the in-thing now, gradually society have accepted this ideology as well. Have you taken time to listen to some of the songs most young (and even old) people sing now? Let me just highlight two of them, I don’t know who sang them neither do I know the entire lyrics, but some lines stood out for me: “I wan make the kin money wey go make Dangote say who be this black skin boy...” and “Owo wa ni akpo yin, e je ka ba yin noo” (pardon my Yoruba typos)...

Photo credit: Wavy Naij

Don’t miss my point please, I am not saying it’s a crime to dream big and desire riches, and infact, many Nigerian musicians who do these songs, work soo hard (I hope) to make whatever income they are able to make. My worry though, is the listeners! How many young people these days believe in hard work, how many are concerned about the process that leads to getting wealth? Well, your guess is as good as mine. All the stories we hear of female sanitary pads and underwear's getting missing are more than enough evidence.

If you ask me, I’ll say we are headed towards disaster! I don’t even have a solution to proffer because this ‘Yahoo-Yahoo mentality’ has become a complex cell with even the high and might profiteering from it. Aside stricter rules and management in the music industry, I strongly suggest that everyone must take into their hands inculcating and emphasizing the dignity of hard work in every young person. The truth is, staying on this ‘fast lane’ will only guarantee a next generation of nuisance. People must learn and understand that ill-gotten wealth is like a loan from the bank, you always pay back with interest!

Let me know what you think! Leave a comment below ABEG!

#myrandomweeklythoughts

@dr_mykk