Do you miss your Ex?

I came across this reel on IG last week where this lady was so emotionally regretting how things went south in her marriage. You could tell that if she had her way, she would do everything to be back to where she used to be. I understand this is maybe an exception to the norm, but it was instructive to come across this exception.

We live in a society where an ‘ex’ carried a negative connotation much of the time, especially to the ex-er (if there is anything like that 😊). Ex’es are regarded as mistakes, shouldn’t haves, vomits that should never be gone back to, and more. Fair enough, some people still have the courage to stay cordial with their ex’es, which takes a lot of courage by the way. But life shouldn’t be that hard you know. I understand the dangers though and the fact that sometimes the decision to distance yourself from an ex and/or paint all the negative pictures about them in your mind (or to your friends) is to help you get over them and get on to other things, which brings me to what has been on my mind.

So back to the reel I saw, this lady owned up to taking her man for granted and not appreciating enough all things he did for her. She mentioned how her husband used to take care of her up to the point that she didn’t even know how to put fuel or gas (whichever one you like to call it) in her car until after the marriage ended, the man literally worshipped her (in her own words) and she took all of that for granted. ‘I miss my ex-husband’ (her words again).

Life can deal us curved balls now and then, beautiful relationships can go sour, but it doesn’t mean that there is no more ‘beauty’ in the person. I don’t know about you, but I have memories of my ex that I still cherish. It doesn’t mean I have not gotten over them or I don’t value my present circumstance. It just means that once upon a time, I was with a beautiful soul and for whatever reason we had to let go of each other, but we took a part of each other along. 

I am not talking about boundaries here, because obviously boundaries are an essential part of every aspect of our lives (including relationships), but that is a separate conversation. My point is that people can ‘miss’ their ex. What they do with that ‘miss’ feeling is an entirely different kettle of fish. 

I am trying so hard not to sound crazy, but maybe that is what I have just succeeded in doing 🤦‍♂️ Please let me know in the comment if you understand what I am trying to say, or just tell me I am crazy. It is what it is mehn! ✌🏽

#myksjournal