LONG ‘LIVE’ THE QUEEN!

What a week it’s been!

Liz Truss is sworn in and exactly two days after, Queen Elizabeth II bows out of not just the throne, but life in totality! 

February 6, 1952 to September 8, 2022; exactly 70 years, 7 months and 2 days after, the sun has finally set over Burkingham palace! 

70 years of vision, stability and consistency in the face of rapid changes and extreme global uncertainties. Late Queen Elizabeth has been described as “the only constant in the very rapidly changing times”. Hers has been a reign of admiration, and it is obvious that she is leaving behind STRUCTURES that would sustain the gains of 7+ decades.

African leaders are reminded once again that leadership is service and should deliver more than just ‘dividend of democracy’

Only time would tell what would come out of the reign of King Charles III, but in the words of my friend; Seraphine Aku-Batse; ‘London bridge has fallen’!

How did you receive the news of the Queens demise? Share in the comment section 

TWO YEARS AGO!

It’s been over two years I made any post on my blog... exactly 2 years and 4 months since my last post.

Please what is the drug for inconsistency again? I think I need a dosage. 

Well, I am giving it another try. 

Wish me luck and hey, read and make comments too! You sef follow for my problem 🤪

How’s the month going for you so far? 

Use the comment section and let me know what you would like me to write about more? Cheers! 

EVIL GREATER THAN COVID-19

Our world is at a crossroad guys! We have never seen anything like it (not in our generation at least), Some say it’s a Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD), others say its global epidemic, still others say it’s population control strategy gone wrong, but whatever it is, it has brought our lives to a standstill, literally! That’s not even the heart of my gist in this particular blogpost.

You know, a lockdown has been imminent, only it took the government this long to declare it. Some have even argued that it ought to have been a national lockdown, especially since our condition in Nigeria is unique; among other things, there is a criteria for those who can be tested - have a travel history, showing symptoms, contact with a carrier and bla bla bla - meaning that several asymptotic persons are probably moving around and spreading the virus to other states that are not Ogun, Lagos and Abuja. Away from that too...

So I came across this news article yesterday of a German government official who was believed to have committed suicide as a fallout of COVID-19. https://www.vanguardngr.com/2020/03/german-minister-of-finance-commits-suicide-over-coronavirus/Just in case you are interested, that’s the link. This got me to think more deeply about the wider consequences of COVID-19. Mental health is at stake fam! Unfortunately, all the medical attention now (or at least a very large percentage of it) is focused on testing, isolation and treatments of victims, no one seems to be concerned/talking about the mental health implications of all of these. WE MAY HAVE MORE ‘MAD’ PEOPLE IN THE STREETS WHEN COVID-19 IS OVER (if not even before then). Why do I think so? So many reasons, but I’ll just state a few...

1️⃣For a good number of Nigerians, ‘work’ is the only ‘escape’ from home for several reasons; nagging spouse, troublesome kids, among others. Now they are forced to face their ‘giants’, and certainly there would be casualties. Already, statistics from China show that divorce rates have spiked in the last two months, God help us in a country like ours where almost every figure is a gross underestimate.

2️⃣Many Nigerians; and we are talking some 60-70% of Lagosians especially, are daily earners. They basically will starve if they don’t go out in a day. There have been reports of State and Federal government distributing food items and 20k to ‘poor households’ (I saw this one yesterday and laughed; Nigeria my country! SMH) respectively. And kudos to celebrities who have been doing a lot of giveaways, but how many people are giving away, how coordinated is the giving, and how many people are actually getting? Apparently, many people may likely die of hunger before depression even gets to them.

3️⃣Frustration from the lack of basic amenities will drive people crazy, literally. I saw a video on IG yesterday, of a famous Nigerian Actress frustrated about the unending and maddening sound of generators in her neighborhood, and crying and begging the government to provide electricity if people have to stay home. I am certain millions of other people (including myself) share her sentiment. Unfortunately, we can’t all handle frustration equally and we have a ‘deaf’ government (for lack of a better word); some may be pushed to breaking point if the frustration continues for two whole weeks ‘at the first instance’.

I could go on and on, but I guess my point is made. Depression, anxiety and the likes, may be greater evils than COVID-19 when the chips are down. But you can be a part of the solution; 

• reach out constantly to that friend who you know has a pre-existing mental health condition.
• check in regularly with your friends and acquaintances who you know are home alone at this time.
• be conscious of your own mental health too. Exercise as often as possible (it works!)
• engage in some productive activities, at least read a book!
• as much as possible, don’t share fake news. Even some of the real news can be depressing too, so don’t share ‘depressing real news’. There is enough to chew on already.
• pray and hope in God! COVID-19 has proven (even to the Atheists, I believe) that the help of humanity certainly has to come from outside of humanity. 

I am certainly this phase will be in the past sooner than we think, and I hope and pray that our sanity is intact when all of this is over.

Share in the comment section how you are keeping sane in the midst of this crisis (you could cheer someone on!) 🙏🏽

Fragile February

 

Yo fam! Happy new year from your’s truly. Mehn, a lot has been going on in my space lately, and unfortunately Myk Ogu blog has just been suffering unjustly, but please keep wishing me well guys! Special thanks to those of you pushing me to keep putting my thoughts out there, thanks for keep up with my blog, much love guys!

Back to the chase, come to think of it guys, what month of the year do you consider the most fragile? (Stop by the comment session and let me know what you think and why) February it is for me! If only the inventors of February 14  (whoever they are) knew what they were getting the world into, they most likely would have had a rethink. All in the name of Valentine, young men have had a really hard time impressing some girl with whom they may never share more than their money with, young ladies have had to put up with guys that are way below their ‘league’, and many have gone into depression, sadly! A day intended to be one of love has become an entire nightmare for many because of dashed hopes and the likes...

I don’t have a lot of experience, but here are a few of my amateur suggestions on how to make the most of this and as many other February 14’s you have ahead.

1. All that glitters is not gold. All of those who seem to be having a beautiful valentine experience may have stories you wouldn’t ever want to be identified with. So envy is a bad idea.
2. Don’t expect anything. Where there are no expectations, there are no disappointments. So whether or not you have a special someone, it would be bad enough to expect a treat from them, and worse expecting to be treated in a particular way. If you get a treat, enjoy it, and if you don’t, love your significant other still...Times are hard fam!
3. Plan a treat for yourself. If you want a treat so badly, then there ain’t nothing wrong with planning something special for yourself. Come to think of it, you deserve something special, so give it to yourself!
4. Be vigilant. The good book says “be sober and vigilant”, but I want to stress the vigilance. Some guys and/or ladies are waiting to devour and February 14 provides a unique opportunity, so beware! 
5. Be happy. I don’t know how you can ‘be happy’ and not get yourself into trouble, but let no one or ‘day’ steal your joy.

I know these might really be amateur tips, but I guess my point is; February is such a fragile month, don’t let yours get broken!

Send me your thoughts in the comment section below.

#myrandomweeklythoughts

TRASH TRADITIONS!

After over three decades, some people mock me and others rebuke me for being unable to fluently speak my native dialect - Igbo. Sometimes, I have felt the need to do more than just respond to greetings and hold very simple surface conversations in my dialect, but more of the time, I have not felt I am obliged to be any proficient in a native dialect. I have several reasons for this, but I’ll share just two, and to be clear, I don’t care if you think they make sense or not, they are my opinion afterall... I guess you might even buy into them.

So, of course, one of Africa’s greatest potential for strength is her many thousand diverse and unique ethnic groups and peoples. Unfortunately, this same diversity has been more harmful than useful in the overall development of many African societies (in my opinion) and Nigeria is certainly one of those... On several occasions, I have seen the ability or inability to bargain in a native dialect result in higher or lower costs for the buyer, and I am sure you have also had similar experiences. It is simply disgusting, to say the list. Of course, bargaining is a very basic instance, there are several other more complex circumstances where ethnicity is the only condition for preference. The result? Your guess is as good as mine.

Secondly, not only is ethnicity detrimental to those who are of a different ethnicity, it is annoyingly detrimental also to those of the same ethnic group. I’ll give you two instances with the Igbo tradition (which is what I am familiar with). Before a loved one is laid to rest, the immediate family of the diseased is expected to perform certain ‘rites’ for the kinsmen namely; purchase of a well-fed he goat (sometimes it is advisable to allow one of the kinsmen to buy the goat themselves, so it is not rejected), several cartoons of drinks, something called ‘sizable meat’, coolers of rice and soups for various groups in the community, among others. Many times, the cost of completing these burial rites are so high that the diseased is left in the mortuary for several months and a few times, even years, very sad! The exact same thing happens in the event of getting married to a lady from the Igbo tribe, just that the number of cartoons and coolers may vary slightly. 

What is even more thought-provoking is that many of these so-called ‘kinsmen’ feel a sense of entitlement to literally ‘reap where they have not sown’ in the name of traditional rites. Apologies for sounding so sentimental in this post, that’s because I really am upset; some traditions are indeed worth trashing!

Some think this has to continue, just because it’s the way ‘our fathers did it’, first I don’t agree our fathers were this exploitative, and even if they were, times have changed... who’s joining me to say NO to exploitative tradition? 

#myrandomweeklythoughts

IG: @dr_mykk

THE COST OF LOVE!

I have been thinking about this for a while; I had shared it at a function recently where I was invited to speak on a related subject, and I think I want to share with y’all this thing that has been on my mind; fortunately it is one other thing that getting married has taught me... ‘Love’ in Africa, especially in Nigeria, is very expensive! How do I mean?

In the ‘West’, a man finds a woman he intends to make his wife, upon giving her consent, parental blessings are sort and in a small gathering of family and a few close friends, the marriage Union is contracted and the journey begins. In most cases, the budget of the small gathering/wedding ceremony is borne by family and close friends; from wardrobe to cakes to pictures to logistics, everything. 

On the other hand, in Nigeria; especially where I come from, the story is a little different. Once you have found ‘love’, a number of factors are involved; first as the man, you need to consult with other people (fellow men) who have gone ahead of you to get an idea of what obtains on what they call the ‘marriage list’, and most times too, you discover that just like textbook have various revised editions, ‘the list’ is also constantly updated (and almost always reviewed upwards), so what constitutes one persons ‘list’ can be entirely different from that of another, even when they married ladies from the same town. As if they were not enough, almost every Nigerian lady wants a three-fold wedding - at the village square, at the court and in the church. Interestingly, the cost of the wedding at the village square almost always exceeds the cost of those at the court and in the church combined, except your lady is the type that insists on certain things - asoebi, 8 layered cake, exotic wedding gown - God help you!

Some argue that the rationale for this age long cultural practice is that it places more value on the woman and makes it more difficult for her husband to leave her; of course when you remember how much the love cost you, you will rethink divorce more than twice... While I cannot confirm or refute this argument, I know that separation is on the increase; a whole 14% increase in separations in Nigeria in the year 2018 alone (https://www.thecable.ng/the-rate-of-divorce-in-nigeria) Also, the psychological implications too are overwhelming; may men delay marriage until they have built the financial muscle to undertake such costly enterprise (they end up getting married in their late 30s and early 40s to much younger ladies). Another concern is that once the cost has been incurred, a man sees his wife as a commodity he has bought and thus can dictate to her how to live the rest of her life with him and most times she barely has a say.

My point? Some of our cultural practices in Africa and Nigeria especially, are holding us in a stunted growth position. We can achieve better result by other more civil means if we put our minds to it. Unfortunately, most of the custodians of these traditions/custom are not enlightened and very resistant to change. I have a whole lot more to say, but I’ll reserve that for PART TWO of this thought next week.

Can you disagree with my views? Certainly! Please share your own thoughts in the comment section below 👇🏽

#myrandomweeklythoughts

#dr_mykk

ITCHING EARS

This week I came across a nugget titled; ‘Itching Ears’, which I found very insightful and gleaned so many profound lessons from. I’ll share some excerpts from this nugget:

“From the conscience that shrinks from new truth, from the laziness that is content with half truths, from the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth, O God of truth deliver us. We can’t stand the truth, so we heap for ourselves people to tell us what we want to hear. We read and cite works that agree with our prejudices. And we choose friends, politicians, and preachers to tickle us with versions we resonate with”.

Come to think of it, everyone of us is guilty of this to some extent, only that the degree of our guilt may vary. So it is safe to say that we all have ‘itching ears’, just that the ‘ears’ of some are ‘itching’ more than others. The truth is that may of us have become so mediocre that we get so uncomfortable around (or outrightly dislike) people who insist on doing things the right way and at the right time; excellence has become so discomforting, especially for many young people. 

For instance, feedback from many of the students who have come under my tutelage think me to be stern, mean, and some even say ‘wicked’, and their justification for these perceptions are; I insist on coming to class regularly and promptly, I insist that they study and make the best of their time in school, I insist on avoiding the use of smartphones during lectures, I insist on silence and concentration during lectures, among others. I am certainly not their favorite, but you know what? I may still not be a favorite even if I was permissive, and besides excellence is more valuable than some mediocre validations. So why not continue to pursue excellence?

Who’s with me on this pursuit for excellence; slowly but surely? Kindly indicate in the comment section 

Please read, comment and share!!!

IG: @dr_mykk