First of all, apologies for not coming through with this last week. I decided to keep a few thoughts to myself, and I guess that’s okay right? Thanks for accepting my apologies!
So a friend asked me last week; “How did you realize you had found the right person to marry?” I know this is almost a cliche question, but trust me it is one of the most important cliche questions there are. I tried to answer her not as a professional (because I am not), but as someone who found MY ‘right person’. Notice I said ‘my right person’ not ‘the right person’. I’ll share some of my answer to her with you...
First, and most importantly (I think), how do you define ‘right person’? ‘Right person’ when it comes to marriage is a relative concept, because my right person may be different from yours. You may say that is obvious; two people can’t possibly marry the same person. I agree! But two people can marry two persons with similar values and principles, which to me is what determines who a person is, and whether they are right or wrong for something/anything. So the first question is; what values do you want in a husband/wife (which of these can you compromise and which of these values are non-negotiable)?
Many people say and believe that “there is someone for everyone”. I agree to the extent that everyone who wants someone eventually finds someone to be with, not that God specially created someone for anyone. Because if that was the case, a woman who lost her ‘someone’ in less than two years of marriage will not find another ‘someone’ to love and marry. Definitely it can’t be the same person as the first marriage, but it is definitely ‘someone’ for them too.
You know, matters of the heart are complex and spiritual too, and need careful thought and prayer. Unfortunately, society is messed up; many kids are marrying kids, many fools are raising fools and some even prefer to marry their pets (I can’t describe the disgust I felt the day I overheard a group of ladies talking about how they felt making love to their dogs). Hmm! They say we should not judge *lips sealed*
I guess my point is; marriage is blissful if you choose YOUR RIGHT PERSON carefully and prayerfully. Don’t also stay careful and praying and menopause (or it’s male counterpart) catches up with you. Marriage is also a HUGE LEAP OF FAITH! God can help you find the balance!
Please leave your thoughts in the comment section!
#myrandomweeklythoughts
IG: @dr_mykk
'MY right person', 'leap of faith'#PowerPhrases ..... 'my right person' implies a need for self evaluation. I cannot know what is right for me, if I do not know who I am, my strengths and weaknesses, what I value, what/who I aspire to be and/or achieve these answers will determine who I would define as 'my right person', otherwise if I leave it to the internet I will marry the internet's perfect bae , or my pastor's perfect bae, or my parent's bae, yet I will be the one stuck to do life with them. Lol. PS this is not to say do not seek the counsel of others (because it is necessary to some extent), but seek counsel from those who truly know YOU AND genuinely/caringly desire what is best for you (No hidden agendas). The final decision though is for me to make, because I probably know myself better than anyone else (frills and flaws)!!!
ReplyDelete'Leap of faith'!! O hhh yes it is! You don't know if whether they will stay the same, or flip on you one day, or maybe they were just such an excellent actor/actress until they had secured the catch! Smh! This is where hope and prayer do indeed come through, for wisdom , for insight, a '6th sense', courage to love after failed attempts, and the strength to endure the dating/courtship stages.
Enjoyed this post Dr!