GUNS! TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

I thought I had an opinion about this until a few days ago, then I got to see the issue from an entirely different perspective.

I know you are wondering what the issue is right? WOULD GUNS IN THE HANDS OF LAW-ABIDING CITIZENS REDUCE CRIME RATE OR NOT? That’s the issue ooo my dear people! I used to think and believe that any laws that put guns in the hands of people other than law enforcement or the military was insane. I have even published several articles on the subject. How would you make guns available to civilians and not expect them to use these guns, and expect that crime rates will not double or even triple? 

But I came across a perspective that challenged my views on this issue. If law-abiding civilians are allowed (by law) to own guns, it would discourage criminal elements from attacking people indiscriminately, because they know that you have what they have - guns! 

This argument leaves several questions unanswered still, which is why I don’t completely concur with it. For instance; how do you deal with a husband or brother or sister pulling a gun on their sibling or parent because they are upset or disappointed? What if one is careless and a child finds the gun and uses it to hurt themselves? What if criminal elements decide to increase their fire power and attack anyway? (like we see most times in Nigeria where Police is hiding from thief because they have more firepower). All these are equally important issues too, and more. On the other hand, one reason why the US has not again used nuclear weapon since 1945 is because 8 other states have nuclear weapons and some others are still secretly building theirs. This has created what Strategic studies experts call “Deterrence”; fear that attack could provoke equal or superior counterattack, so every country just respects itself and refrain from attack. Plus, 

I guess my point is; this is a conversation we ought to have, especially in the light of increasing proliferation and trafficking in arms and ammunition, especially in Nigeria. What do y’all think?

#myrandomweeklythoughts

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ONE RITUAL I NEED TO STOP

So I have been thinking a lot in the past two days about rituals in my life... I have a number of rituals that I perform daily, and sometimes weekly and other times even monthly or yearly, and I bet this isn’t just me, we all have some kind of ritual that is tied to our person. But there is this one ritual I really do not feel good about.

I have been seeing all kinds of things on social media in the last two days that tell me it’s that time of the year again. Things like; “the tomb was empty so you can be filled”, “He was betrayed with a kiss, denied by His friend...” and all that stuff. None of these is bad. In fact, thankfully, all of it is TRUE! But sadly, once this weekend is over, we have to wait another 365 days (or close to that) to be reminded of these amazing truths. 

I guess my point is that Easter, Christmas and whatever else you think stands out as some kind of symbol of some ‘absolute truth’ have all become just ‘rituals’; like ‘well it’s that time of the year again and everyone else is at it, why be left out?’. Sadly, this is also the case with our weekly worship services (whether they are on Saturday or Sunday). Consciously or unconsciously, many of us (including myself) just go to church or worship services, most times to ‘check the boxes’ and ‘fulfill all righteousness’. There is still so much selfishness, and jealousy, and pride, and impatience, and hate, and envy, and wickedness, and the list goes on, reigning in our hearts... All we do is take a pause on the ills, perform the necessary ritual and get right back to ‘our lives’, others even do their own rituals while at ‘their lives’.

Yeah I know, enough of the beating around the bush... My point is Easter, Christmas and everything else that has to do with ‘truth’ ought to be not just a ritual, but a lifestyle. Every second of every single day should be ‘good friday’, and ‘Easter’ and ‘Ed-el-fitre’, and ‘Christmas’ and everything else that means something to us once in a while. I am tired of the rituals, I want a lifestyle that constantly reflects my gratitude for the love and grace of God, EVERY MINUTE of EVERY DAY! So help me God!

What are you reflecting upon Easter?

#myweeklyrandomthoughts

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LESSONS FROM MICHELLE OBAMA’S ‘BECOMING’

Some three weeks ago, I finally started reading ‘Becoming’. I had had the book for several months now, but the hype of the book made me a little skeptical. I was really hoping I would not get disappointed, and certainly I wasn’t disappointed one bit. No doubt, the status of Michelle has helped to push the book into the market, but the book speaks for itself too.

So after 24 long and engaging chapters, plus a preface and epilogue. I will just share five things the book re-emphasized that I would never forget in a hurry. There are definitely over a dozen more lessons, but you should do yourself the honor of reading it too... It’s refreshing!

1. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING

The family theme was one that ran all through the book. Michelle unapologetically portrayed her preference for family over all else; mirroring the love she and her elder brother Craig enjoyed from her middle class family on Euclid Avenue at the South side of Chicago, to her intentionality in ensuring that her girls didn’t suffer neglect as a result of the busy life herself and Barack found themselves in. Even when they hired a baby sitter, she made sure she was always home before bedtime to talk the girls to sleep. Children don’t really care how rich or poor their parents are, all that matters eventually is how much time and love you give to them.

2. NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE CAN BE REASONED OUT

Which of us has not been taken by surprise as life spring new roles and responsibilities at us without warnings? Having finished from Princeton and Harvard and landing a fantastic legal career, Michelle hadn’t ever thought of politics or prepared for fame until Barack came along. Then all too sudden and in quick successions she has to deal with all life was throwing at her, with little or not enough time to always reason it all out. 

3. OVERCOMING FEARS

As life became more demanding, Michelle had to hire a chef to cook meals and eventually hire nanny for her girls. As a young black lady from a middle class family, she understood the implication of these actions and what people would say, but what had to be done had to be done. Many practically live their lives on the premise of what others will think or say, as such they fail to do even the very expedient things. 

4. IT’S HARDER TO HATE SOMEONE UP-CLOSE

Sometimes there is that one person that we just don’t like and for no good reason too. Or we ourselves are hated by people who even barely know us. I can’t imagine I almost believed the many videos I saw on YouTube about Michelle being a transgender who used to be a male and changed to become a female. The things hate drives people to do are appalling, and Michelle had tons of stranger as haters. Sometimes, the best way to treat hate is getting to know someone a little better, because indeed, like Michelle said “it’s harder to hate someone up-close”.

5. PROGRESS AND CHANGE HAPPEN SLOWLY.

Of all the lessons from this memoir, Michelle‘s thoughts about her visit to Madiba in South Africa was the one I consider the most profound. Very little transpired during the visit as Mandela was too old and feeble to engage herself and her entourage, but she noticed Mandela was a graceful old man. Mandela had been jailed for about 20 years, missed crucial parts of his growing up and family life, yet he wasn’t consumed with bitterness and animosity for all the years he spent in jail; he was still a graceful and happy old man. Mandela had given his whole life to South Africa and the country is still in the process of change. Many times we get discouraged and bitter when we don’t see our efforts yielding desired results, but like Michelle rightly noted from Mandela’s life; “progress and change happen slowly; not in two years or four years or even a lifetime”.

Have you read the book, leave your own lessons from the book or your thoughts in the comment section, I’ll like to hear from you.

Follow me on IG: @dr_mykk 

WHAT MARRIAGE STOLE FROM ME...

Hey, thanks for stopping by to check on #myrandomweeklythoughts

So two days ago I saw this video on IG, and I really was like, wait a minute, was this guy reading my mind or what? He literally went ahead to clearly highlight what I wanted to share with y’all, just that this is me telling you my own side of the story.

So on the 29th of July last year, I got married to my friend of 9years and my lover of some 10 months. That decision was about the best decision I ever made in my life; I will go all over it again and again if I had to; from meeting her, to our friendship, to dating and finally popping the question (and seeing that priceless look on her face) and then walking the aisle to bring her to the altar. I don’t and don’t expect to ever regret one bit of being married, let alone getting married to my wife. She’s my magic wand; and has brought so much good fortune into my life in just a few months. It’s important that I stress this firmly, so that what I am going to say subsequently is not taken out of context.

I miss some of my female friends! I asked my wife what she thought about the video and thankfully she confirmed that ‘it is normal’ for single female friends to hold back once a guy gets married, and vice versa. I bet she meant ‘it is normal’ not because it is the right thing to do, but because it has become tradition. Don’t get me wrong, almost everything changes when one gets married, and yes it is wise to shake off a few toxic friends (especially of the opposite sex) which can pose threat to your union. But my wife and I had a life before we got married; we each have platonic relationships that we cherish (for a thousand reasons) and as life progresses, as opportunities present themselves, these friends would become mutual. Unfortunately, some of my female friends may never get to meet my wife, but they’ll remain my friends.

It hurts to hear things like: you are married now na; or you have left our league/level. I only got married, didn’t go on exile. Marriage stole some friends from me and yes it hurts, but FAMILY FIRST! 

Leave your thoughts in the comment section, I’ll like to hear from you.

Follow me on IG: @dr_mykk to see the video

FROM HERE, ONWARD!

Few days ago, my friend put out on her Instagram story a question that I have wrestled with since then. She asked; “If there is ONE thing you are passionate about, what would it be?” Pretty simple question right? Well, I thought I had an answer, in fact, I did answer, but I found myself asking myself if my answer was the best I could do, and the answer is NO! There is so much more I am sure I would enjoy doing if only I could get myself up and about them...

So, here is where I am beginning. Publishing a blog post on a random thought every week about my life, the life around me or whatever else I find captivating my mind enough. I don’t guarantee you will like every thought, but I guarantee they would be worth every minute you spend reading and reacting.

I have seen the power of positive (and negative) influence in my almost 9 years of university teaching. Sometimes too I have spoken to an audience of less than 10, and somehow someone finds the session useful; either in their present or several years down the line (if I’ve had any influence on you, do well to share in the comment session). I am neither rich nor famous, or have I lived long enough to garner too many experiences, but I have my stories, I’ve heard those of some others you may not have heard, and I even have my own thoughts on those that you have heard too, and I intend to tell them all. I am sure someone will find them useful!

So don’t just stop by today, but next week, and every week after that. Don’t just read my thoughts and stories, but also leave me some reactions, and kindly share these stories with those who you think would find them useful. This is another opportunity of doing that ONE thing I am passionate about; ‘growing’ people.

So, I’ll ask you the same question; If there is ONE thing you are passionate about, what would it be? (I’ll be expecting your answer)

In the meantime, Welcome to #myrandomweeklythoughts

IG: @dr_mykk

2019 GENERAL ELECTIONS POSTPONED!

Well, do not panic, THE ELECTIONS ARE NOT POSTPONED. I wish they were postponed though, but they remained as scheduled. On Saturday February 16 2019, Nigerians would decide their next President, and I pray people are allowed to vote, that they vote wisely and that their votes are allowed to count!

I have not done any kind of research into this, but from mere observation, elections in Nigeria; for as long as I can remember, have always been held on weekends; precisely on Saturdays. It has become so routine that it appears conducting elections on a weekday in Nigeria is tantamount to electoral fraud. But I doubt that it does.

Elections on Saturday disenfranchises at least 239,104 electorates from voting. This is the number or Seventh-Day Adventist Christians in Nigeria as at 30th June 2018; who claim that elections on Saturday is against their religious ethics. However, most of the electorate do not seem to see this as a challenge to democracy and certain the government doesn’t. Buhari won with 2.57million votes in 2015, which is more than thrice the number of this largely minority Christianity group.

Although it is bad enough that one electorate is constantly denied the right to vote in elections, merely by the day elections are held, it is obvious that denying 239,000+ people MAY not yet have so much effect on the outcomes of the elections in Nigeria, but this may not remain the case in the near future as populations continue to explode; defiling every possible odd. We all talk so well about every vote counting, but we don’t seem to do so much to translate talk to action.  Hopefully, soon, as little as one electorate’s vote would start to really matter beyond all the ‘stereotype talk’ we hear. I hope it’s not too late then!

Wishing Nigeria a peaceful 2019 electoral outing! Let’s hope the promise of non-interference and that of peaceful, free, fair and credible elections will be kept.

God bless the FRN!

“On the Couch with Falz and Laila”

Hey guys! Yeah, I have been MIA for several weeks now, and I apologize. Guess I have been getting used to being a husband, after marrying the love of my life in July 2018 (I’ll start the new year with a special feature on my beautiful wife, you don’t want to miss that). *wink* Well, a lot has been happening lately in Nigeria, and just some brief thoughts on something I think is fascinating. It’s not the first place you may have heard about it though.

On the 10th of August 2018, Folarin Falana Esq. (popularly known as FALZ) and Laila Johnson Salami released the Episode 1 and Season 1 of a YouTube channel dubbed ‘On the Couch with Falz and Laila’, and in that episode they had a very critical 33 minutes of interactions with Mr. Fela Durotoye; a renowned Entrepreneur and life coach who is running for President of Nigeria in 2019 under the Alliance for New Nigeria (ANN) party. Since August 10, ‘On the Couch with Falz and Laila’ have hosted 9 presidential aspirants... Here is what I think about setting up and being ‘On the Couch’!

Nigeria’s two decades of democracy (come May 2019) can be likened to... (I have a lot of things on my mind, you can imagine) a family where children are born to parent to whom they really have no choice in (in our case, PDP and APC), I’ll let you decide who the Dad and Mum is in the Nigerian case. *smile* This isn’t funny though, but somehow the children in my illustration (Nigerians) always find a way to lighten up the mood in the home (Nigeria). But you know what, at some point, the children (Nigerians) come of age and they get to deal with the real issues; and may even walk away from their parents (PDP and APC) if nothing seems to be changing. I think we are at that point; WE HAVE COME OF AGE!

Enough of the illustrations, back to ‘On the Couch’. Not only will Falz and Laila be voting for the first time as Nigerians in 2019 and represent another over 14million Nigerians who will also be voting for the first time in 2019, but having presidential aspirants in front of the camera to respond to several spontaneous questions is a move that I think is noble and provides insight into some of the very little things about those who wish to represent us. Presidential debates in Nigeria have arguably remained a facade, even in cases where they have been held, your guess is as good as mine on the logistics and protocol involved. Now, I know the presidential candidates of our ‘Dad’ and ‘Mum’ may never sit ‘On the Couch’, but that shouldn’t be a surprise; Nigerian children will traditionally not put their parents on the spot. I am trying as hard as possible to remain unbiased in this piece, and I pray I succeed.

What is your point Myk!? Nigerians are becoming ‘democratic adults’; ‘On the Couch’ is one of such evidences of demanding critical and accountable leaders for ourselves, but Falz and Laila can’t do this job alone. If we must make a statement and let ‘our parents’ know how we feel, then WE MUST DO IT TOGETHER! The young people (and even old) must determine to vote for a Nigeria that will not break down when we need it the most to be strong for us (our children and their children, and children’s children). I don’t feel like I let it all out in this one piece, but I think it’s a safe place to leave it and still be as critical as possible.

Here is a link to the most recent episode of ‘On the Couch’.

https://youtu.be/mYBLtA_Nvqw

Kindly share your thoughts on the program and this write-up too. Let’s hear from you please!